My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
