no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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