Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
