Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
