We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
