okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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