i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
