I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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