My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
