The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
