She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
