Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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