OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
