Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
