the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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