Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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