Say something about gay babies.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My ass is underappreciated
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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