she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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