the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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