Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
