The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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