So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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