just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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