woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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