So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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