Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
