my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
