So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
