They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
