it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
