is your mom at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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