So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
