We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
