Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She announced her abortion via fbk
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
