Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
