i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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