I got chris browned last night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
