1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
