yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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