I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
