Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
