Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I need a beard to bite.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
