A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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