I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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