He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize