break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
