yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
