Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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