My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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