I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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