I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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