i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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