Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
