So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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