i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
