the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
