woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
