We're facebook friends in real life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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