Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
