I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I smell like Dick and happiness
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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