it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
