the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
someone owes me an orgasm
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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