Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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