this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
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New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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