just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
