i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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